A Modern Day Tragedy

Last night I think I went on the most meaningful date yet. Instead of dating someone who was in all reality a total loser. This guy had some things going for him, and some not so much. However the main thing that set this guy apart was the fact, that he actually took me somewhere nice and PAID!!! I have grown very accustomed to dating broke morons who work as waiter, or at Starbucks, and have all the aspirations but do nothing to achieve them. This guy manages a pizza restaurant, but he is also in school. He is very attractive.

We started out by going to Einstiens, and I have never been to this place before. It is very nice, and very expensive. I was looking over the menu, and not wanting to break his bank, nor send him into bankruptcy I decided on something small. He saw me apparently looking over the prices, and said get anything I want. So I ended up getting the Grilled Chicken Tarragon which was actually delicious I might say.

We talked waiting on the food, and he had lots to say. However he wasn't all about himself, and a little bit of I. It was very 50/50 in our conversation. It did get quite for a little while, but everytime he would find something to say to break that thick tension of ice. And I must say it worked.

So the food comes, and we eat it was all good. The bill comes, and I reach for my wallet. The next thing out of his mouth comes the words, " Put that away I got it." I never learned the total, but from my guess and the tip it came out close to 60 bucks.

We ended up at Caribou talking until about 12:30 when we both had to leave to go home. This guy though is a total romantic, I am just not sure I'm digging him. I can't put my finger on it, but I just am having a hard time connecting to him.

There is nothing more irritating then car lots. I thought people were just being over dramatic, and crap but really these people have it down to science on how to irritate and annoy the fuck out of me.

So, yesterday with the approval from my Mom, a 97 Mustang to trade, and 3000 in cash to put down. I go and look at the Prius, and to tell you the truth I have fallen in love with them. I never would have thought a hybrid thing would have been so nice inside and out. It drove very well, and had far more kick then I thought it would have. I put about 50 miles on that thing, driving it from the lot to the bank, then up 10 miles 85. I drove like a damn dream, nothing like a Mustang GT, but still it drove very nicely.

So, I end up getting approved with the trade in, and the cash down. My baby mustang is worth about 2500 trade in, so I guess it's not that bad. Well I had 5500 to put down total the price of the car, was 25k roughly. So then I get approved and this and that. Everything was going well, and then all of a sudden as we are sitting down in finances they explain to me. The bank has changed their mind, and they don't want to procede. So I am fucked, and I wasted an entire. The whole time the salesman was irritating me talking, and guy in finances I wanted to punch. AND TO TOP IT OFF, I lost a whole work day dealing with their crap.

But I still want that Prius and I will keep trying.

Cheers,

T

My Mom and me this morning were sitting around the table listening to the News. I have not been watching the news lately these last few months, and one reason is it makes me uncomfortable. We were discussing the world issues mainly in Isreal. My Mom says something along the lines of, " Yeah, those Guerillas attacked the Isreal troops..."

I dropped her off at the airport, and then came home. I was sitting in the living room watching the News again, and they came on. They said something similar to, " The Guerillas were hiding in basements, houses, and in trees. They have guns and ads attacking people, and killing them.... so and so..."

Lil Bro looks at me and says, " Why are Gorillas attacking people." He is thinking of Gorillas like the apes. I have been very tense these last few days, and this just made me laugh. He just looked at me. He didn't understand that the Guerillas are actually a rogue and radical faction of a government. I replied, " Guerillas aren't like monkeys, they are bad people. They have bad ideas, and kill and harm people to try and make people do their evil bidding." We chit chatted for a few minutes, and I put things in his terms trying not to scare him.

I have been thinking all day how wonderful it must be to be a child in these troubled times. He has no idea nor do any of my siblings of the events that plague this world. I have faith that in a decade from now things will be much better, and they are young and will glide right through most of it. I however have the fear in my stomach of thinking what it will be like when it's at it worst 5-6 years from now. How high will gas go, how will I pay for college?

The need for me to think in the present has changed. I no longer think in terms of what will tomarrow bring, but more of what can I save in order to prepare. I often find myself staring into the void of space, trying to comprehend everything that goes on in the world. I try to think of new ways to make this transition over the next decade much easier. I try and not to think about the economic struggles I know that are coming. I try not to think about how bad the riots, and plagues on society can be.

I can see the next year of 2 being the same. However after that I can see things starting to get bad, and reaching their peak in 5-6 years. In 10 years I can see things cooled off. But I am in that mode of self preservation type thinking. The need to have a boyfriend, and have the shiny new gadgets, and clothes no longer is in my thinking. I save more money now then anything working harder to get new clients. Because after things in the world have cooled off I want to be able to come out stronger then the ones who weren't prepared. I hate to say it, but that is almost everyone I know.

I just am troubled right now. I have my opinions on things, but I will leave them to myself. The idea of our future scares me. Also I drive a magnum right now, and I think I am going to trade it in for a Toyota Prius. If not then my Mom and me, are going to get it together, and split the tab 50/50. Rising gas prices right now is what really chills me.

Last night I believe I went on one of the worst dates of my life. Not worst date, just the guy was so blah. He was cute so I said yeah. As soon as I started sitting down to eat, he just talked my ear off. I didn't say a damn word. On top of it all he kept talking Bull Shit. When I say bullshit I don't mean topping his stories off to make them sound impressive. I mean straight out bullshit. I will leave his wackass stories for tomarrow when I have more time to blog.

On another note I got my first Tattoo. It is an ellipsis, on my back right shoulder. I have wanted one, but I thought forever what I wanted. This no something on me, this is a part of me. I like it for that, and I believe this will be the only one I ever get. I might post some pics if I can get some decent ones of my back.

I want to blog more but I'm about to turn into the living dead I'm so tired.

Cheers,

T

Okay this is a weird, and mildly stomach churning video...

So, I have purchased Anna Nalicks new CD, Wreck Of The Day 06. It is actually a very good CD, and I do enjoy. I love the remake of Wreck Of The Day the best. Also I bought the new Dixie Chicks CD this week. I love their song, " Not Ready To Make Nice."

On another note though. I am happy to announce I will be graduating 5 months early in December of this year. What I want to do in life I really don't know? I want to go into business, but as for college I really don't have a clue.

I've decided not to persue a relationship with this older gentlemen. Not because of his age, but because what we have in common is not enough to sustain a lasting relationship.

Cheers,

T

I am going on a date tonight with a really decent guy, and his looks are just wow. I thought he was like in his mid 20's. In fact it turns out it is more like 32... While this guy is great and everything I am not sure how I feel about the age difference. What would others think? Is this something worth persueing?...

I think last night I went on the worst date, in the entire history of Man. I swear this guy is not all that and a bag of chips in the looks department, but he was so sweet. I decided to give it a shot, mainly because after I have gotten to know people who aren't super hot. Their personality makes me look at them, and go, " Oh, they are smoking motherfracking hot..."

So we were originally supposed to go and watch the fireworks. They were moved to yesterday due to rain on the 4th. Well, it started raining so I just meet up with him at his place. I wanted to go somewhere, but he demaned that we stay there. He ended up having some movie from Blockbuster called The Lost Angel. It was a decent movie, but the whole time he was getting so touchy and feely that it wasn't even funny. He held my hand, and touch my hair, and while I know this is him trying to be sweet. His ass needed to back off before I busted a cap in his ass. He offered me nothing to eat, nor drink. I was starving thinking we were gonna grab something to eat. So finally I stand up and say, " I am starving, lets grab something to eat."

Well I decide on Taco Bell. This whole time I am sitting in his car, he puts on some classical piano crap. Not that I disliked it, but it did not fit the mood whatsoever. So we get to Taco Bell, and I order. I drove up here and he had told me before he would be paying for everything. He then goes, " I am out of money." I didn't care, my order was about 4 bucks. So I took over the order, and this his ass goes and orders 8 soft tacos, and 2 things of those twist things. This made me mildly upset, but then the last straw is this...

He calls his roomates and asks if he wants something to eat. Me being the nice person I try to be, so I didn't say anything. He ordered the same thing. The total of the meal was about 20 bucks. In the car on the way back to his place I am very bitter. Staring into the void of Briar Cliff Road... He doesn't saything, minus the fact the whole way back to his place. I have to listen to King Of The Nerds give me his whole life story.

I eat and try and leave in a hurry. I have this thing with a friend where if I am on a bad date. We will text message each other and use, " SOS." This is the call me now signal and give me and excuse to get the hell out of here. Nathan ends up calling me and giving me my brake. So this guy end up asking me as I am leaving and he is dead serious to ," Damn, I wanted to have sex with you..."

This was the last straw. So he ended up kissing me, and never end my life have I had such a dry kiss.

I swear he can go back to his pornos, gym, and D&D games!

I think of my favorite actresses is Amy Jo Johnson. Not just actress but she is a very talented artist. She was the original Pink Power Ranger back in the early 90's. I have both of her albums and she has very haunting music. So beautiful and tranguil, and similar to that of Anna Nalick.

I have been a huge fan of hers from Felicity, to this new series on ABC Family she in called Wild Fire. She is such an under represented actress, and musician....


Plus on top of it all she is beautiful as hell!

I go into Atlanta all of the time. One of the main reasons is in hopes of finding true romance. I have no desire for a hookup, and I guess that being with someone just makes sex enjoyable for me. I know this because I haven't had sex in 7 months. I miss Greg, and I have foregiven him in my mind for his little advantures with Blake. Plus he was good in bed as far as I can tell, although he being my only expierience so far. I miss his touch, and his voice, but most of all I think I miss his smell. He was a good person, and I know he feels bad for what he did.

I go into Atlanta, trying to find someone to take his place in my mind. Trying to find someone to keep my company. However I am starting to feel my motives are different then many people there....

However I got an email from him this afternoon, and it reads....

Hey,

I am aware you may not wish to read this. You may just delete, and this will be a loss of my emotions and time. You know I regret what I did to you. You treated me so kindly, and you respected me. I had only been dating a few guys before you came around. Since then noone has been able to give me that respect, and the push in life you did. I thought all I wanted from you was sex, but we waited so I got it elsewhere. I regret that now beause everytime I am with someone it feels meaningless. There is something they cannot fill. Please foregive me. I have cut off all contact with Blake, and my friends.

Also I have left for UCLA. I left in May, and it feels so nice to be back home in California. However I miss you and I hope you are doing well. I don't see my life bringing me back to Atlanta anytime soon. My family is moving back to California. School starts soon, and for you I know you have one more year left. Just maybe think about coming to California for school. Your a good old redneck, but still you would love it here. I'm living in this very small studio apartment. I swear it is so small I can hear the neighbors when they fart. But it is very nice, and it overlooks the skyline. At night you can see around for miles, but the noise is different then Georgia. The stars don't shine as brightly, and the people are so much different. They are rude, and straight to the point. I miss having a good ole southern boi, who southern tang and charm always brought a smile to my face. Even though I tormented you about it, it was comforting knowing what I could confide within you.

I hope cheerleading is going well, and I hope you are no longer bitter. Here is my number if you like to call me sometimes ***-***-****.

Your Love,

Greg AKA Butt Boy

I called him and I ended up talking to him for almost 2 hours. Catching up on information. I miss him, but this is an odd situation.....................