A Modern Day Tragedy

So another two weeks have come and gone in the life of T. Nothing very excited has happened that I can think of really. Besides that fact that I went on a horrible date!

So, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I was walking around the complex, and I met this other guy... Obviously he was gay! So we talked, and he seemed sweet, but a little nerdy. He was kinda cute in a weird geeky way, so I decided to go on a date with him that evening.

Well I meet him at work, and then we drive to his place. It was a nice little apartment thing, and he was talking all happy and everything. He was not sure where to take me, but I love sushi and he knew this cool little sushi place.

We get there, and they know him by name. (Joseph is his name sorry!) We small talk, he talks about his best friend Rachel who is just so Glamorous. This that and the other, and it wasn't awkward silence kinda date, just friendly talk. At this point I wasn't really digging it, but I needed some! Like it has been a while, so when he started talking about going to his place to watch a movie I was like ,"OKAY!"

Then we are ready to leave, and when we get the check he asks to SPLIT the damn thing. In my mind I was like " Oh hell no bitch, you didn't drag me out here through this 1 hour of hell to split this check!" Of course I didn't say it! But he was like oh I haven't gotten paid, excuses excuses excuses.

So we head over back to his place in his shitty little car. I was kinda ticked, but whatever. Then he starts talking about his music career, how he wants to be an organ player, his church choir, and this and that other bull shit! I cannot people who so strongly believe in a GOD, I am a devote atheist, and worshipper of Carl Sagan, Richard Dawkins, and so on! I had to keep my mouth shut!

So we get back to his place, and he like I can be a killer bar tender! I was okay, make me a Saphire Martini! He makes it, and it tastes like SHIT! I live for Gin and Whiskey, this asshole kinda fucked up my love for Gin!Well we stick in a movie, and he starts rubbing my back, and all that. I just pull up, and sit with my legs crossed Indian style on the couch. He eventually gets the message!

I leave, and he texts me on the way home! " I had fun cute boi, why didn't you cuddle with me!

I respond-Your kinda cute, but I am just not digging it

I don't hear anything back!

Well I saw this boi out Saturday night, and he was fucking drunk. We are sitting outside of this club drinking bears, and martinis, and here comes Josephs drunk ass. I was with one of my friends Corey, and Joseph is like bringing back old memories of him when they dated 2 years ago. Telling us how much he missed him after three dates, blah blah blah!

Well then he blurts out in qoute, " Corey, I want to take you home, and have your piss on me again!"

That just ruined the moment, Coreys face went blood shot red...

It was awkward and out night ended at that moment.

But Corey, is le mucho hottness.. So feel free to piss white stuff on me honey!

God, do I ever love Russian men, there is just something so about them! As you can see from a random Google search to the left!

I want to go to Russia next summer to Moscow State University and study Russian. My Mother, is absolutely baffled by the idea, and thinks I would do better staying at home. However, if I save up for the trip, and pay for it myself what can the woman say! Her reasons are the Russian Mob, Communists, Terrorists, and the fact that I do not speak Russian.

Her reasoning is I am Hispanic, so therefore I must speak Spanish! She is fine with me backpacking Central America for a month, with less then mediocre Spanish skills. Staying in a third world country, shitty hostels, riding third world buses, going to villages in the middle of nowhere, and being out contact from the civilized for for days on end! So, there you have another attempt at Mothers reason!

Back to my main point...

I have always had a random fascination with Russia. I remember watching Anastasia the movie years ago when I was like 8. I used to pretend I was the long lost heir to the Russian throne. prance around singing songs from that damn movie, and thinking I was a Princess... Yeah, big shocker- I'm GAY!

Plus the Russian language is gorgeous to me. I love how they speak, and the culture. I know it is very homophobic, but still I love Russia.

So, as of now my goal is to save $100 per week until next summer. This will leave me with about $4,500 dollars. A very obtainable goal, with discipline! I need to pay down my credit card which was $1,300 3 months ago. Over the last few months, from my new job I've brought it down to $750... I'm trying to discipline my mind to stop buying clothes, and stupid shit!

Like when I went to SoBe in March, I dropped almost 400 bucks on clothes. Which I still have not worn! I can deal with FCUK sales, and Rugged Warehouse to look cute! I swear gay youth in this country place so much emphasis, on D&G, Prada, Armani, and other such things... I will not give into this! But yeah, I am excited I have written down my goals.

Moscow State University offers a 6 week intensive language course for 1070 Euros, about $1,700. Which includes dorm, food, tuition, and other such living expenses. Then $1000 for the airlines ticket, and I think should stay a few weeks in hostels and such with my newly found gift of the Russian Language! I can do it for $3,000 and live very comfortably, but still I want to stay maybe an extra month!

I'm sad no college offers Russian in my area. My school sure as hell doesn't! Ones in Atlanta do, but that is 65 miles away. Shame, but one of the girls I work with is Russian. She has a degree in teaching, and journalism from back home in Russia. I am hoping she might want to do private lessons until then. So I shall let you know!

Bois are an enigma to myself. Being one, I thought I would have a little bit of luck understanding one. However, such a philosophy in the gay scene of GAY-T-L, just doesn't hold true.

Bois come and go like the wind, a whisper in my hear. Hoping I can understand them when heard, but they turn out to be nothing more then murmurs.

However, if there is one thing I have learned it is this. Bois like to screw with your mind, they lure you into this trap they have setup. Flirting with you across the room, sending you those glances, and then that little smirk. Which I have determined means I want to fuck you, not get to know you. Those quickie fucks can be fun though, and many times it turns into many quickie fucks. So, a sigh of relief to the fact that I do get some action.

The older I get though, the stronger the urge is to find someone compatible with myself. I've had one boyfriend, and that lasted a few month. I was 16 or 17, and still in the closest, and that boi moved far away. We do not speak, but I just want to call him sometimes. To know I can throw the ever unfolding dramas of my life onto someone. To have him say, " Baby Boy, everything will be okay."

But who do I myself have to turn to? Well my mother is a psychotic delusional menopausal bitch, who rules the third layer of hell known as my house, enough said. Then there are my two younger twin brother all of the age of 16. They are morons, straight skateboarding emo/punkish kids who are the rebels of society. Yet, I still care for them. Then finally my two youngest brothers, who are just, well Distant.

I have taken a two year break from school. I had this grand dream of creating a multi-million dollar empire, making the pages of Forbes, Money, and the WSJ. Being the envy of businessmen everywhere, and ruling atop a skyscraper in NYC. This dream was shattered with the reality of energy, the unstable economy, and clients who don't understand the concept of paying their bills on time.

Now, I just finished my first quarter at small two year school in Metro Atlanta. I am a business management major, with no huge aspiration, besides graduating and getting out of my house.

And above all else I need a boi!