Posts

13 Years Later...

I found the notebook with the password to this account tonight, after five years of searching for it. Maybe it's time to resurrect this blog; a lot has changed since I was 17 years old. My life has turned out far different than I pictured for myself 13 years ago. 

The Last Few Years- Act I

Wow, I have been sitting here, the last few hours, reading my mindless teenage meanderings. They are embarrassing for me to look at now, but they are a testament to how much I have grown. So much has changed, and the beliefs I once held so dear, have been completely rewritten. I always thought my mind would be a constant, but this only shows how little I truly knew. It has been 8 years of experience, and my entire perspective on life has been forever altered. I am actually surprised this blog was still here. I wonder what it will be like in 10 years, if I forgot about it again, and sit down and read what I am writing now.  To think, I was merely 17 when I started this blog. A caddy little Southern boy, and now on my way to becoming a man. 8 years, so many memories compiled into my brain, and it is only now that I am beginning to perceive time in it's true meaning.  To understand my own mortality, and to actually start cherishing life in the moment.  I am starting to und

Revitalizing New Life

I've decided to come back permanently to this blog, a lot has changed since I was a teenager... I am now 25, living in Miami, and trying to figure out what this life all about. I will be updating the templates, and the general settings of this blog in the coming days. I need a vent in my life, and I cannot think of a perfect way to do it. Cheers Loves, Tragedy

Wow, WTF have I done?

I'm not really sure where to start... I do need some kind of outlet for my mind, and the only thing which I can think of is blogging again. Fuck, I don't even know if anyone even reads this anymore... The last few months have been a whirlwind of up and down emotions, of dragging the lust for the boy which I now believe I love oh so dearly. Someone once told me something which I found very powerful, " You will find love when you least expect it, so stop looking..." And this quote I lived by for years, and was single from 18-almost 22. I ran around Atlanta with pride, fucking and breaking hearts, and making myself either loved or hated along the way. Then in January of 2010, a boy came through the drive through at Starbucks I worked at. He just smiled, and I had never seen him before. He then came in every Monday and ordered his Cinnamon rolls, for almost 6 weeks straight. He was cute, but wasn't die hard gorgeous. There was just something about this boy I

2010

I started blogging almost 5 years ago, it's kind of embarrassing to go back and read my posts, but oh well. I suppose I am going to start doing it again to some extent, I do miss it, much has happened, and I need an outlet.

Figuring All This Out

I suppose I thought once I turned 18, and came out of the closet life itself would magically spit me out some kind of plan for life. A step by step " How To Guide" of navigating GAY-T-L, finding love, finishing school, and everything else life has to offer... As children and teenagers grow up, we have to get ourselves out of the mental mindset of " I know what I want, and I want it now..." We are used to getting results in the here, and now, and hate waiting. Over the last few years I have come to realize this, and I believe I am finally coming out of that mindset. I have come to learn patience( to a degree), and not to expect people to meet up to my expectations of them, I have had to relearn what rejection means in the sense of romance, and what rejection feels like on the professional level. I have had to come to terms that I am a mortal soul, who will someday seize to exist, and am starting to realize what matters the most in living life to the fullest is my o

Pride Was Weird

You know that saying, " Even in a crowded room, you can feel so alone?" I never knew what people ment by that exactly. Now I very aware though of how isolated I am in the scene of GAY-T-L. I was raised Mormon, I think I have been through a lot in my life, but also I know a lot of people have. These events even though not the best, have created the man I am to oneday become. I am believe when I become a man, which in my book includes a bachelors, a full head of hair, and being over 24 years of age, I will be very proud. But on the Friday night of Pride, I decided to go in full out DRAG to Pride Prom. I thought I did a pretty damn decent job, I do decent makeup, and I had a gorgeous dress, handbag, wig, etc... Well I get there and everyone is like OMG you look great. So I was like"YAY!" Well as the evening passed( ALL 1 HOUR OF IT!), I decided I wanted to go Wild Mustangs. Well I had noone to go with, and I ran into someone I had not seen in a year. They tagged along