13 Years Later...

I found the notebook with the password to this account tonight, after five years of searching for it. Maybe it's time to resurrect this blog; a lot has changed since I was 17 years old. My life has turned out far different than I pictured for myself 13 years ago. 

The Last Few Years- Act I

Wow, I have been sitting here, the last few hours, reading my mindless teenage meanderings. They are embarrassing for me to look at now, but they are a testament to how much I have grown. So much has changed, and the beliefs I once held so dear, have been completely rewritten. I always thought my mind would be a constant, but this only shows how little I truly knew. It has been 8 years of experience, and my entire perspective on life has been forever altered. I am actually surprised this blog was still here. I wonder what it will be like in 10 years, if I forgot about it again, and sit down and read what I am writing now.  To think, I was merely 17 when I started this blog. A caddy little Southern boy, and now on my way to becoming a man. 8 years, so many memories compiled into my brain, and it is only now that I am beginning to perceive time in it's true meaning.  To understand my own mortality, and to actually start cherishing life in the moment.  I am starting to und

Revitalizing New Life

I've decided to come back permanently to this blog, a lot has changed since I was a teenager... I am now 25, living in Miami, and trying to figure out what this life all about. I will be updating the templates, and the general settings of this blog in the coming days. I need a vent in my life, and I cannot think of a perfect way to do it. Cheers Loves, Tragedy

Wow, WTF have I done?

I'm not really sure where to start... I do need some kind of outlet for my mind, and the only thing which I can think of is blogging again. Fuck, I don't even know if anyone even reads this anymore... The last few months have been a whirlwind of up and down emotions, of dragging the lust for the boy which I now believe I love oh so dearly. Someone once told me something which I found very powerful, " You will find love when you least expect it, so stop looking..." And this quote I lived by for years, and was single from 18-almost 22. I ran around Atlanta with pride, fucking and breaking hearts, and making myself either loved or hated along the way. Then in January of 2010, a boy came through the drive through at Starbucks I worked at. He just smiled, and I had never seen him before. He then came in every Monday and ordered his Cinnamon rolls, for almost 6 weeks straight. He was cute, but wasn't die hard gorgeous. There was just something about this boy I


I started blogging almost 5 years ago, it's kind of embarrassing to go back and read my posts, but oh well. I suppose I am going to start doing it again to some extent, I do miss it, much has happened, and I need an outlet.

Figuring All This Out

I suppose I thought once I turned 18, and came out of the closet life itself would magically spit me out some kind of plan for life. A step by step " How To Guide" of navigating GAY-T-L, finding love, finishing school, and everything else life has to offer... As children and teenagers grow up, we have to get ourselves out of the mental mindset of " I know what I want, and I want it now..." We are used to getting results in the here, and now, and hate waiting. Over the last few years I have come to realize this, and I believe I am finally coming out of that mindset. I have come to learn patience( to a degree), and not to expect people to meet up to my expectations of them, I have had to relearn what rejection means in the sense of romance, and what rejection feels like on the professional level. I have had to come to terms that I am a mortal soul, who will someday seize to exist, and am starting to realize what matters the most in living life to the fullest is my ow

Pride Was Weird

You know that saying, " Even in a crowded room, you can feel so alone?" I never knew what people ment by that exactly. Now I very aware though of how isolated I am in the scene of GAY-T-L. I was raised Mormon, I think I have been through a lot in my life, but also I know a lot of people have. These events even though not the best, have created the man I am to oneday become. I am believe when I become a man, which in my book includes a bachelors, a full head of hair, and being over 24 years of age, I will be very proud. But on the Friday night of Pride, I decided to go in full out DRAG to Pride Prom. I thought I did a pretty damn decent job, I do decent makeup, and I had a gorgeous dress, handbag, wig, etc... Well I get there and everyone is like OMG you look great. So I was like"YAY!" Well as the evening passed( ALL 1 HOUR OF IT!), I decided I wanted to go Wild Mustangs. Well I had noone to go with, and I ran into someone I had not seen in a year. They tagged along