A Modern Day Tragedy: 13+ Years Post Emo Kid

I have somewhat of a crush, on the individual I consider my best friend. I told him last week how I felt, and he really hasn't given me a clear response. Last night we were in Midtown, and we were getting ready to leave. Somehow we started getting very flirty with each other. I had my back up against his car, and he was right in front of me. We were discussing sex, relationships, and plans. Then out of the blue he just kissed me. Every neuron in my brain was sparking. I couldn't decide what to do, if I should knock him away; go with it, or what. I felt like a child in a candy store trying to pick out his favorite candy, yet he can't makeup his mind. I really enjoyed the sensation of his lips against mine. I decided to go with it, and then about 5 seconds into it he just pulled out. He then stated, “I just wanted to know what it was like with you." All of a sudden my heart went from being utterly high in my own world of paranoia, to sinking into the dark cold abyss of t

Okay, so here is my new problem. However for some basics I will go back just a little bit. I am a senior in high school, and I will be graduating this Christmas. I will be graduating a whole semester early, because I have worked my ass off. I am a fairly intelligent individual. I school I have never truly applied myself to be all that I could be. I have settled for a A, B average, and I am happy with this. I see school as a requirement to succeed in life, howeverI don't think school is all that. I however have plans to go to college. I however run a small part time business, and I do not have time to go to a regular sit down, and study college. I require my classes to be on my own schedule and not one set by someone else. I do plan on expanding my business while in college, and running it to its full potential when I have graduated. Most people BTW, in the gay community do not know this about me. What I do is mildly embarrassing but the money is excellent. I also will have news art

I have done an incredible job of never telling a single soul about this blog. Never once, has it even slipped out. I got a call from someone tonight who went to Youth Pride, I miss that place BTW I have not been in forever, and they started talking to me. We were discussing what people were talking about. Then out of the blue they asked me if I had heard about, " THE BLOG." I didn't think anything at first, and they were telling me about how someone told everyone about this blog. They it has a lot of stories about people in Gay Atlanta, and such. And then they add that everyone was sitting around MidTown, reading the posts at that moment. I asked what was it so I could look at it, and then he states, " A Modern Day Tragedy, or something like that..." My stomach about turned into a knot. I didn't say anything, but I would look at it. Apparently they all think it's someone else completely other then me. I will let them complete the guessing game, and appar

So, I have this friend. I met him in April, and at first we had a very odd relationship. We would hangout, but only whenever I saw him around MidTown. His name is Matt, and he is this adorable little Jewish boy. There was this other guy named Dylan, that he at the time was best friends with. Dylan and him though has since parted ways, mainly because Dylan is dating a fool. Matt can't stant him, and he confronted him about. A huge argument errupted, and so they no longer speak. I have since moved up his social latter to being one of his best friends. He is very good at expressing the way he feels, and I have grown to actually have this big cruch on him. It has been on and off for the last 5 months, but I have had one now for a month. I really have tried everyway to tell him how attracted I am to him. However everytime I open my mouth just plain old words come up. I swear to God there is this invisible barrier that is stopping me from speaking the way I feel. I have a hard enough tim

Greg is in town this week. I actually had the pleasure of seeing him these past few days. His family is in the process of moving back to California. He is also attending UCLA, so there will not more seeing him, for a long while I am sure. He looks the same, still has the body of a Greek God, and the dark hair and eyes. He still has one of the most beautiful complexions on a man I have ever seen. We went out to lunch and hung out all over Lenox yesterday. We talked at Starbucks at Lenox for the longest time. Catching up on things and what he is up to. He has gotten a job as a cheerleading coach out in California, at some All Star gym. He still has this sexy black Chrysler 300 C. It was odd being around him though. He had that aura that me want to be with him again, or at least I was lusting for him. It's odd realizing that every quality about his being made me attracted to him still. Even after that stunt he pulled last Christmas, and the anxiety and hatred that was brought with it.

Okay, so there are several things I have to address in this entry. For starters I am feeling much better then I was several nights ago, but also about this blog. I am sorry for neglecting this blog. I am aware there are some of you out there who actually like my posts. I am going to start spending more time actually writing decent posts on a more frequent basis. These few posts have been very useless. Also in regards to this blog I will try my hardest to start proof reading what I have written better. I am aware, that many of you are anal about perfect grammer. The reason for this is most of these posts are written in a few minutes, and I don't have time to fix errors. Also I will updating my Blog Roll in the next week or so. I will adding several blogs that have grown on me and deleting a few that have gotten cold and sour. I am also contemplating a new layout for the blog. However this might be some ways away. Reason being I adore the black and grew one I have now, and I love my

I am enjoying this new blog that someone emailed to me. I took 3 years of French in middle school, so I can understand somewhat of the material. However I just really enjoy the pictures in it.... Yummy it's called Pablo Chester .

I am sick with a headache, vomiting, fever, chills, the runs, cramps, and everything else. I feel like shit, and I don't know why...

I am sick with a headache, vomiting, fever, chills, the runs, cramps, and everything else. I feel like shit, and I don't know why...

Oh, how I adore music. I have a very odd taste in music or so I am told. I love all genres of music, and really there isn't one thing of music that I don't like. I just have ones I prefere. If you have been a long reader of this blog you will know my favorite artist is Anna Nalick. There is something so majestic and relaxing about her voice. Then there is the mucher lesser known, male version of her named Ben Jelen.... His music video is here... I do prefere softer sounding, enchanting, and relaxing music for the most part. I adore Norah Jones, Diana Krall, Jamie Cullum, Gavin Degraw, Michelle Branch, The Wreckers, Holy Cole, Third Force, Tori Amos, and a shitload of music. However I found this version and remake of Time After Time this aftertoon I just love. I have been listening to it all day hear it for yourself

I loved this show growing up...

For the longest time I have thought about the idea of just picking up and leaving. Not as in running away, but as in leaving everything behind in my life, and moving somewhere. Someplace where I don't know anyone, or anything. I want to live somewhere besides the South, even though I feel this will always be my home. I just feel like I am at a point where I don't have a clue what I want to do in life. I mean I know what I want to do, but in the mean time... What I want to do in life is 15 or 20 years away. I have my 20's to figure this out. I feel that I have fallen into the same old routine of get up, work, school, and sleep. This is my life, and I love my life don't get me wrong. I just feel for a few years that I need to be governed by a different set mof like equations. That the force which runs through me has become so routine. The more I think about I really am not wanting to go to college right away. Lets face I can expect to live a long time, and they say the 3

So, last Saturday I went on a very nice date, with a very sweet guy. Well from what I knew of him at the time a very sweet guy. His parents were out of town, and so I went over and a few other people. He is a recovering alcoholic or so he states. I end up deciding I want a few shots of vodka, and I take about 2 over a 3 hour period. This is enough to get me tipsy, but I know my limits and when to stop. So about 2 I stopped, and started to sober up. It was about this time his drunk straight friend start trying to get him to taste this awsome beer. He refuses at first and I start to see I think I am liking this guy. Well about 30 minutes passes, and his friend convinces him to taste it. Then he drinks the whole beer. Time progresses, and then he is in this state of mind, " Oh, I can get drunk and drink every Saturday it will only be once a week for a month." I having read, " Clean: A New Generation In Recovery Speaks Out."( Okay I know it should be underlined, but I&#