A Modern Day Tragedy: 13+ Years Post Emo Kid

The time has come for me to close this chapter. A year and a half ago I was in the closest, in a small conservative town, roughly 45 minutes outside of Atlanta. When I created this blog I was very naive to the workings of the world, and I still am. However over the course of the last year or so, I have gained much insight into the workings of gay society. It is a society with many ins and outs, many secrets, many legacies to be written, and many wanting to do harm. However this is ot the case with the vast majority of gays, they want to do good, and that is it. I was once very closed minded to all sorts of gays, from the lesbians, to the femmes is what I assume they shall be called. However I opened up alot to them, and learned they all play their part. Especially the lesbians, they are like gay men, without ever having to worry about being hit on. Another plus is one has became very close to me... The main reasons for me ending this is this. I once wrote some of my deepest thoughts ...

So last Thursday I went to the Masquerade like I do on the occasion. I only socialize when I go there, but I really enjoy going out to eat after we leave. We generally go to Steak And Shake. So we went there, and we got there, there were tons of beautiful men. So none of them were gay, but okay so they were still hot I am allowed to stare correct?Well then comes this Brazilian group of guys in, and after a while I realize they are gay. One of them is this beautiful man, and I keep staring at him. He stares back and they are sitting there, and he stares right back at me. I just wanted him right then and there... At first I thought they were Latino, so I was trying to understand what they were saying, being I am Latin. I could not, and eventually the waitress told us it was Portugese... But after a while I got up and went to the restroom. As I was at the urinal someone walked into the stall right beside me, my hand was on the urinal for support. Next thing I know I felt someone rubbing m...

I am a very healthy person. I watch what I consume, and try my hardest to have a very balanced diet. I do not consume pork nor beef, and I only eat organic foods. I run like a bitc h about 25 miles per week, and then three other days a week I do a weird assortment of cardio at the gym. Either cycle, elliptical, and or the treadmill, on the occasion I might do a class... However these last few weeks I have done none of the above. I have been so stressed, and I have not ran and I am eating like a cow. It has made me feel better, however I am reaping the benefits as of today. I truly have not looked into the mirror, until last night and I did not like what I saw. Staring back at me was this chubby little fat guy. I know I am not fat, but I do not like this. I have developed love handles, my abs are shot all to hell, and well as for my pecks they are now hidden under a layer of fat. I just got back from the gym, and I weighed myself. I thought the damage was 5-6 pounds, but hell no it...