Place You Finger On My Heart
I am so sick of giving my heart to someone and being in that euphoric, "Everything is Grand O'le Great" state of mind. I am sick of giving myself to someone and have them kick me to the curb like dog shit. I am sick of calling and calling any guy I talk to, and either them try to fuck me, or never call me back. I am sick of having a great conversation with a guy only to have then jump up and talk to the next best thing in line. The fact is I had sex with Greg 4 months ago. It was great because I felt something for him.I don't like being close to someone if there is no connection there. I have no desire for sex, until I know I feel something for someone. I am fine with my left hand and Sean Cody, and Corbin Fisher....
I am going to give up the hopes of finding some Abercrombiehott ass guy, in hopes of falling in love, and becoming a Stepford Fag. I am no longer attracted to these kinds of guys because all they want is Party, Sex, and well sex.... I want that genuine boy next kinda guy, with that sway in his hair, and that will admit his own wrong doing. I want that guy who stands in the corner of the club, because he doesn't like dancing and just wants to go outside and talk. I want that person who instead wants to go the " GAY CLUBS AND DANCES" and would just rather do something more quiet with friends. I don't want the hottest guy, I do however still am attracted to people. They have to be cute, and I find most guys are cute in their way. However there are some I just am not attracted to....
I am want that guy whom I can give to and recieve back. I want that guy who has the corkiest talent, but I find it charming. I miss Greg, he was my Prince Charming in a way. Even though he slept with Blake, and all that Jazz. I have forgiven him in my heart. I still look at his picture everyday, and he is always in my mind. I often wonder what he is doing at that exact moment in time. I am not sure I had over reacted with that, because I now know he has cut off all relations with Blake. I now know how bad he felt, and that he cried for much longer then I did. I know he missed me, and I know he wanted me back. It's funny because I now drive a Magnum, and he got a Chrysler 300 for Christmas. They are cousin cars, and not a day goes by I don't see a Chrysler 300 and see us doing something goofy as fuck in the window. He made me smile, and we never fought, but he did have the guts to tell me he had slept with Blake. He felt so bad he could confide that to me in hopes of forgiveness. I trusted him, and I still do. And more then ever I want him back. I drove by his house today, and there is a For Sale sign in the yard. The house was empty he has told me his family was moving somewhere this Spring. I don't remember where. I think it was back to California. I tried calling his cell phone, and his number has been deactivated. I hardly knew any of his friends, and he changed his SN and deleted his Myspace.....
I want someone like him again.... I just wish I could have him back.
I am going to give up the hopes of finding some Abercrombiehott ass guy, in hopes of falling in love, and becoming a Stepford Fag. I am no longer attracted to these kinds of guys because all they want is Party, Sex, and well sex.... I want that genuine boy next kinda guy, with that sway in his hair, and that will admit his own wrong doing. I want that guy who stands in the corner of the club, because he doesn't like dancing and just wants to go outside and talk. I want that person who instead wants to go the " GAY CLUBS AND DANCES" and would just rather do something more quiet with friends. I don't want the hottest guy, I do however still am attracted to people. They have to be cute, and I find most guys are cute in their way. However there are some I just am not attracted to....
I am want that guy whom I can give to and recieve back. I want that guy who has the corkiest talent, but I find it charming. I miss Greg, he was my Prince Charming in a way. Even though he slept with Blake, and all that Jazz. I have forgiven him in my heart. I still look at his picture everyday, and he is always in my mind. I often wonder what he is doing at that exact moment in time. I am not sure I had over reacted with that, because I now know he has cut off all relations with Blake. I now know how bad he felt, and that he cried for much longer then I did. I know he missed me, and I know he wanted me back. It's funny because I now drive a Magnum, and he got a Chrysler 300 for Christmas. They are cousin cars, and not a day goes by I don't see a Chrysler 300 and see us doing something goofy as fuck in the window. He made me smile, and we never fought, but he did have the guts to tell me he had slept with Blake. He felt so bad he could confide that to me in hopes of forgiveness. I trusted him, and I still do. And more then ever I want him back. I drove by his house today, and there is a For Sale sign in the yard. The house was empty he has told me his family was moving somewhere this Spring. I don't remember where. I think it was back to California. I tried calling his cell phone, and his number has been deactivated. I hardly knew any of his friends, and he changed his SN and deleted his Myspace.....
I want someone like him again.... I just wish I could have him back.
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