Welcome To Bitch Fork Lane
For the longest time I have thought about the idea of just picking up and leaving. Not as in running away, but as in leaving everything behind in my life, and moving somewhere. Someplace where I don't know anyone, or anything. I want to live somewhere besides the South, even though I feel this will always be my home.
I just feel like I am at a point where I don't have a clue what I want to do in life. I mean I know what I want to do, but in the mean time... What I want to do in life is 15 or 20 years away. I have my 20's to figure this out. I feel that I have fallen into the same old routine of get up, work, school, and sleep. This is my life, and I love my life don't get me wrong. I just feel for a few years that I need to be governed by a different set mof like equations. That the force which runs through me has become so routine. The more I think about I really am not wanting to go to college right away.
Lets face I can expect to live a long time, and they say the 30's are the new 20's. I am beggining to see this is true. I have met so many gay men who are in their late 20's and early 30's. They have just not entered college, or are just leaving. They are happier then most of the people I know. They all have just graduated high school, spun globe and where their fingers stuck they went. Okay, so not in that context, but they left everything they were fimiliar with.
Once I graduate this winter, I believe in the spring this is what I will do. I have narrowed it down to 3 choices New York City, LA, or Miami. Each their own unique culture in a sense. I would be thrown from my home, into a very alien and foriegn enviroment. However I feel in order for me to reach my full potential as a human this is what must do. Today I am leaning toward LA, but NYC and Miami still have their options open. Which I do, I won't tell my family till last minute nor my friends. Perhaps I will like it, and perhaps I will find myself not being able to deal with it.
Whichever the case is I really don't want to go to college until I know myself. I will go to college there is no doubt in my mind about that, I just need to find myself first.
Cheers,
T
I just feel like I am at a point where I don't have a clue what I want to do in life. I mean I know what I want to do, but in the mean time... What I want to do in life is 15 or 20 years away. I have my 20's to figure this out. I feel that I have fallen into the same old routine of get up, work, school, and sleep. This is my life, and I love my life don't get me wrong. I just feel for a few years that I need to be governed by a different set mof like equations. That the force which runs through me has become so routine. The more I think about I really am not wanting to go to college right away.
Lets face I can expect to live a long time, and they say the 30's are the new 20's. I am beggining to see this is true. I have met so many gay men who are in their late 20's and early 30's. They have just not entered college, or are just leaving. They are happier then most of the people I know. They all have just graduated high school, spun globe and where their fingers stuck they went. Okay, so not in that context, but they left everything they were fimiliar with.
Once I graduate this winter, I believe in the spring this is what I will do. I have narrowed it down to 3 choices New York City, LA, or Miami. Each their own unique culture in a sense. I would be thrown from my home, into a very alien and foriegn enviroment. However I feel in order for me to reach my full potential as a human this is what must do. Today I am leaning toward LA, but NYC and Miami still have their options open. Which I do, I won't tell my family till last minute nor my friends. Perhaps I will like it, and perhaps I will find myself not being able to deal with it.
Whichever the case is I really don't want to go to college until I know myself. I will go to college there is no doubt in my mind about that, I just need to find myself first.
Cheers,
T
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