It's Hard To Breathe
Steven has thrown a spear. The attraction between us is still there, well for me anyway. But he avoids me. Then he IM's me, and starts telling me how he wants to go back out with his ex, this and that. It's all dandy, I just don't feel like doing this any more. He starts telling me my physical characteristics aren't what he is attracted to. That my face has slight acne in the corner, that I just am not good looking enough for him. This hurt. I will let it be, but God does it hurt. Being told someone doesn't like you because your not good looking enough. That you have a great personality, but your just not "hot enough" qoute, on qoute.
The sad thing is even though I am upset I know I wouldn't want someone like that. Who really needs a relationship where everything is based on looks. I will not lie. Steven is far more attractive then I ever have been and will be. Maybe oneday years from now, he will look back and wish he hasn't of done that. I hope, because I felt something there.
I have worked my whole life to be able to suppress my emotions. I am pretty good at it, but I also told myself I would never fall victom to them. Guess what? I have, and I can't help it. It's a fault I have, but I can hold them in, which is better then I can say for most peoople.
If this keeps up I might go from a homosexual, to an Asexual.
The sad thing is even though I am upset I know I wouldn't want someone like that. Who really needs a relationship where everything is based on looks. I will not lie. Steven is far more attractive then I ever have been and will be. Maybe oneday years from now, he will look back and wish he hasn't of done that. I hope, because I felt something there.
I have worked my whole life to be able to suppress my emotions. I am pretty good at it, but I also told myself I would never fall victom to them. Guess what? I have, and I can't help it. It's a fault I have, but I can hold them in, which is better then I can say for most peoople.
If this keeps up I might go from a homosexual, to an Asexual.
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