The Drama Is Real
For almost all of my teenage existance I have been fighting an on going battle with myself. At the age of 13, I started skipping meals, and then it progressed to full blown bulimia. I was never the typical binge eater, in fact I have never binged. I would always eat normal sized meals then, about an hour after the meal I would vomit it up. I never had to use my finger down the throat, for some reason I discovered I had the uncanny ability to do it at will. My face never turned red, nor did my eyes. At 15 I was admitted to the hospital, and attended therapy for 3 months.( I was only in the hospital for a few days)
I was fine for about a year, then I left for my second yeah at Duke. The year before I had gained almost 10 pounds. I had decided that I was just gonna eat normal meals, but then it started again. For some reason I felt the complusive urge everytime I hate to do it. If I didn't I would get so depressed and moody. It started again at 15, and lasted until Christmas of my Freshmen year in high school. I ended up having an emotional break down to the one teacher I knew I could trust. She ended up helping me, and refering to an anymous group.
I was well for 6 more months then Duke started again. This time I kept my eating to small portions, but it just started again. It progressed until I started doing it 2-3 times a day again. A few weeks after Duke I sustained an injur where I gained almost 10 pounds. I lost it all plus about 5 more. My skin turned this pale yellow, and I reieved bags under my eyes. My eyes also had this light yellow pigmentation to it. Eventually I got myself to stop.
Last spring I started adopting really strict eating habits. At Duke this past summer I was so comsumed with making sure wasn't consuming to many calories. I become obsessed with my nutrition, and what I took in. The worst part is I was fairly skinny and I only weight 150 pounds. Over the course of that period I started running more and more. Now it has progressed to the point where if I skip a run, or workout I almost go insane. I honetly believe I have made myself become an excercise bulimic. I work at a local hotline for Eating Disorders here in Atlanta. I've been working there forever. I've never mentioned this because I am ashamed of it.
I don't know how it started. I do know I'm going to seek help from one of my Coaches tomarrow. Steven was the one who mentioned this to me tonight. I have never really thought I had these syptoms but I do. He told my he thought I had it, just because I am so frantic about my weight, calories, and excercise. After thinking about it for hours he's right. Tomarrow I am going to talk with my coach. I believe she can help me.
I was fine for about a year, then I left for my second yeah at Duke. The year before I had gained almost 10 pounds. I had decided that I was just gonna eat normal meals, but then it started again. For some reason I felt the complusive urge everytime I hate to do it. If I didn't I would get so depressed and moody. It started again at 15, and lasted until Christmas of my Freshmen year in high school. I ended up having an emotional break down to the one teacher I knew I could trust. She ended up helping me, and refering to an anymous group.
I was well for 6 more months then Duke started again. This time I kept my eating to small portions, but it just started again. It progressed until I started doing it 2-3 times a day again. A few weeks after Duke I sustained an injur where I gained almost 10 pounds. I lost it all plus about 5 more. My skin turned this pale yellow, and I reieved bags under my eyes. My eyes also had this light yellow pigmentation to it. Eventually I got myself to stop.
Last spring I started adopting really strict eating habits. At Duke this past summer I was so comsumed with making sure wasn't consuming to many calories. I become obsessed with my nutrition, and what I took in. The worst part is I was fairly skinny and I only weight 150 pounds. Over the course of that period I started running more and more. Now it has progressed to the point where if I skip a run, or workout I almost go insane. I honetly believe I have made myself become an excercise bulimic. I work at a local hotline for Eating Disorders here in Atlanta. I've been working there forever. I've never mentioned this because I am ashamed of it.
I don't know how it started. I do know I'm going to seek help from one of my Coaches tomarrow. Steven was the one who mentioned this to me tonight. I have never really thought I had these syptoms but I do. He told my he thought I had it, just because I am so frantic about my weight, calories, and excercise. After thinking about it for hours he's right. Tomarrow I am going to talk with my coach. I believe she can help me.
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