Touch

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One of the things I dislike the most, is being touched. I hate it, and I don't know why. I have been like this for years. If someone would come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder I would turn around and just elbow them, without meaning to, or if someone touched my arm, I would move it out and arm them, and even worse when people hug me I just give them like this pathetic little hug. I don't like being in crowds of people where I run into them, this drives me insane. I'm just as jittery as a June bug, and for no apparent reason.

Butt Boy and I went to Midtown today, and stopped by OutWrite to get some coffee. I was in line just recieved my order, and he comes up behind me from somewhere. He gently puts his hands around me, I drop my coffee, and elbow him in the stomach. Just as fast as lighting, and everyone in there turns as stares at me. I even had the nerve to let out a low AHHH, as he did that.

He's on the ground on all fours holding his stomach, short on breathe, and goes, " WTF."

We get outside, and I explain to him. I think he got it, but at the same time it's something he hasn't realized before, because he has never really layed a hand on me.

Someone who reads this is going to email me and go... Were you abused as a child? Before you even ask the answer is a big fat ass NO. My parents never laid a hand on me, not once growing up, and will. It's not in their nature...

Comments

Joseph said…
I was the same way when I was a teenager. When I went out on a first date with my first boyfriend, he reached out to touch my chest, and I jumped back really quick like he was about to hit me.

I have learned to suppress my first instinct, but it's still there underneath everything else.
6:08 AM
Anonymous said…
If you want to 'get passed' these issues with personal space, one would need to seek some therapy.

It's not about 'abuse', it IS about feeling safe in one's own space. Get some help, guys, if not for yourselves for the guys you love.

:)
12:13 PM
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