A Modern Day Tragedy: 13+ Years Post Emo Kid

I have been invited to go out with a group of people I hardly know this weekend. They want to take me to some gay place called RedChair this Friday, then to Buckhead. Then on Saturday they want to take me to some place called Wetbar. I can get in being I stole my cousin driver lisense well over a year ago.(oops) His offer it tempting, but here is how I put this in prospective. I will spend Friday night at a gay establishment with all intention of having a good social hour, and possibly getting a few numbers.In fact I will probably sit there being annoyed by the queens, and their antics on how their life is so miserable, and how the 3 minute quickie fuck with Jason So And So went so well. But he never called him back, and now the love of his life he knew for all of 20 minutes has picked up and left, and he's miserable. Then they will procede to bring my fashion since to the table. Nit picking my wardrobe apart because I dared to just throw on something and a baseball cap. Being I d...

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. How Boyish or Girlish Are You? I think this is actually pretty accurate...

I just got off work after a 6 hour shift. Fairly easy as usual, just wait tables during lunch hours, and then from 4-5 when the main staff gets in I bus. People leave all sorts of crap, probably everyday we find a cell phone, and turn it into management. Well after 90 days of it being unclaimed company policy states they have to dispose of it. Well generally if your there on the right day, you set claim to these phones. Most are just stupid flip phones, but I generally takem and stick them on Ebay, because I can't figure out how to hackem. I just got T-Mobile a few months ago, and all you have to do with them is change the Sim card. Well they had a Sidekick they were gonna toss today. They just handed it to me when I asked for it. The damn things works for my phone and everything. I just popped my sim card right into it. Other items I got today 2 GameBoy Advanced, a cool fossil watch, and a pretty nice Mens Express jacket. Everything is going on Ebay, except the sidekick and jack...

My new gym is awsome. What has made it even more awsome was the fact we had this really cute guy join my team yesterday. He has a bhs which isn't to impressive, but God is he cute. His name is Steven, and I'm sure I saw him checking me out on more then one occasion. He's hot to. About 5-10,dark brown hair and eyes, and this very dark olive skin tone. Yesterday when I left for practice, I just woke up and threw on some clothes that were few days old laying around on the floor. I just tossed on a ball cap and headed out. I wish I had known he would have been there. I would have taken a shower, and put on something clean and fresh.... Damn I hope I didn't fuck this up.

People have found this blog, via all kinds of weird searches here are some. Carlos Mencia Naked v4ny porn blogspot Natasha Bedingfield myspace Modern Tragedy doggie style Gay Pimp Lyrics Gay Pimp video codes The Nasty and my personal favorite Modern Day Whores I have alot of people come accross this blog while searching for the Gay Pimp.

This weeks 10k was the most painful 6 mile run of my life. My timing 1:33.48. Terrible! I walked and did this weird combination running thing. I swear I can't even stand anymore without my feet starting to kill me. This is now more then a pain in the ass, it's starting to effect me physically and not just emotionally. I stay fit by running, if you take away my running I'm screwed. Weight gain of 2 pounds.

This is a British cutie named Jamie Cullum. He's a British Jazz singer, and I adore his work, although not as much as Anna, Norah, nor Diana. However he's coming to Atlanta in March, and I have tickets. So far I have tickets for him and Kathy Griffin in May this year.

11) I bite my nails. 12)I don't get pedicures nor manicures. 13)I can count the number of times I've been into an Abercrombie store, and the number of Abercrombie clothes I own, on one hand. 14)I've never seen on damn episode of Will and Grace, Queer As Folk, nor have I seen Brokeback Mountain. 15)I'm comfortable getting right out of bed in the morning and throwing on yesterdays jeans, a t-shirt, and a ball cap to cover up my messy head. 16) I shop discounts at AE, Rich's, and Ebay, and aren't afraid to tell the whole damn world I paid 30% what you paid.

For some reason God had the need to punish me when trying to sleep. I slept like crap last night waking up every 45 minutes or so. Then the noise starts with the school buses, dogs, cars etc. Which then drives me to the point of insanity. Then the birds start chirping, and the catsd starts fighting. I finally for the first time in years went downstairs to sleep on the couch. For some reason I slept in a wrong position now I have a crick in my neck and back... OUCH!!!

Yeah, so when it comes to being a gay guy apparently I'm screwed. I was talking with friends tonight and they told me this here's why... 1) I have no fashion sense I depend on other gays to help me purchase my clothes. 2)I absolutely suck at cooking. 3)Gregs telling everyone I suck at sucking. 4)I don't have Madonna, Cher, Whitny Houston, Britney Spears, or any other what they call Divas in my Ipod. 5)I don't give a rats ass about the latest celebrity gossip. 6)My prefered genre of music is Jazz, and Aldult Contemporary. 7)I hate Euro Pop, techno, and most dance music. 8)I don't like clubs. 9) I hate going to Pride events. 10)I speak with the worst Southern Accent God gave anyone... There were more but I'm tired, and need sleep.

I don't really understand suicide. There was a teen a year ago at my high school who killed himself. I don't understand why the parents, counselors, nor friends didn't do anything. I didn't know him, infact I can't recall every seeing him, except in my freshman year PE class. Even then he was an odd kid, he never spoke a word to a soul, and never attended any of the schools social events. I honestly don't know if he was ridiculed, although I'm sure he was. I just never hung out with people who made fun of him. My little gang of friends always made fun of each other, we were satisfied with that. We always did the stupid crap noone cared about, and people left us alone. It was late January when the principal came over the sound system, and informed us of the death. Everyone in the room just went who? None of us honestly knew who he was talking about. After watching this on the news, and papers. I really want to know why noone said anything. His friends reporte...

I just got back from the gym. When I was there, there was some new guy there. He had the radio in the Gym on some RAP station. I hate Rap music with a passion. Especially when I'm trying to work out. I asked him once to turn it off, and he told me there is something called an Ipod. That pissed me off. When I see the owner again telling him. I just don't feel like listening to bitches, hoes, and ghetto superstars while I'm working out. I don't carry my Ipod to the gym, because usually I can strike up a conversation with someone there. But none of the people I know were in there.... Ugh, I left in a hurry, to say the least. I dont pay 25 bucks a month to go to the state of the art gym near by, and listen to this crap

When I originally created this Blog last year, I had not intention of ever having readers. In all honesty I didn't really want them. The main reason I created this blog, was to have an online journal noone knew about. Everyone reads my Xanga, and Livejournal. And I just wanted a clean slate. I just posted some things that bothered me, adventures, etc. I didn't want to store a journal on my hard drive in fear someone might stumble accross it. I didn't want to store blogs in favorites either that I read on a daily basis like Naked or A Guy In Love . So I linked them from my blog so I could login make a post, and go and check up on their gossip. Then once I was finished just erase my history and cookies. Then someone linked me, and I started having a few visits which didn't really bother me. Then Best Gay Blogs linked me, and that kinda ticked me off. Because I started having a flurry of people come here. Well, I've grown used to the fact that now between 50-100 pe...

I called Greg... I am not going to see him again anymore. He just wanted to tell me he was sorry, and returned the Christmas gift I gave him. I pawned his watch he gave me:) Asshole... On the way home I pulled into a gas station to get gas. This man approached me. He said he was from hurricane Wilma, here in Atlanta. He said he was here with his 15 year old daughter, and they had no place, to stay or anything. They were living in a tent in the woods, behind the gas station. He didn't ask for anything, but food. I saw his daughter sitting on the corner of the walkway. She was very skinny, blonde, but looked so desperate. He said they lived in a small apartment in Key West, when Wilma struck. They lost everything, and ended up in Atlanta. He had been having a hard time finding work, because he didn't have any decent clothes, nor a way to take a shower. I believed him, and I don't think anyway would lie like this. I took his daughter into the gas station, and told her to ge...

This afternoon I received a phone call from Greg. I didn't answer, but I've been listening to his message over and over. I miss him so much still. I never thought I would still be sulking over someone. I want him back, but if I took him back, it would take so long to trust him again. He was my idea of perfection. Even thought that's now a crude overstatement. His wishy washy ways still are with me. I do miss my Butt Boy. He had this cutest half smile he would always put on his way, wheneve he was up to know good. Usually is was something to do with sex, but God it was so cute. He would always make the cutest jokes about things. Onetime we went to Starbucks, and we sat down. They had put whipcream on my coffee, and I said something about it. He said in the most sexual voice, " Would you like some of my whipcream if theirs isn't good enough for you?" The way he said it, and that little half crooked smile/grin was just so adorable. He made me laugh so hard. Anoth...

It appears I'm the most hated Blogger on the internet. Whenever someone links to one of my posts it's always the most screwed, conceited, and selfish one. Take the one from a few days ago talking about lesbians. That was a brain dump, for what was on my mind at that moment in time. That's not my opinion of most of them. But that's the only kind I've been around. I know the majority of them aren't like that, but the damaga has been done. Oh well... Honestly I'm not an asshole. I just haven't been that exposed to the GLBT community. Yes, alot of things about it kinda creep me out. I'm sure in time I'll adjust, but these are just my opinions at this moment in time. I don't give a rats ass about correct grammar, nor the way I phrase things. It's a mind dump, and thats all it is. What I say is what I believe, and nothing is gonna change that. It's my Blog, and I can do whatever the hell I want to with it. If I wanted to get a picture of a ...

It's to months to the day I turn 18. My father called me this afternoon, and informed me I would be recieving a new car. My baby just is falling apart. I am hoping for a canary yellow 2003 Mustang GT. That is my favorite model Mustang ever. He also informed me he would be sending it down in a few weeks, but he won't tell me what kind of car. My poor baby I have right now is just not cutting it. It needs new brakes, tires, some transmission work, a new paint job, new sound system. But don't get my wrong I have taken very good care of her. She still looks great, being I keep her in the garage and wash and wax a few times weekly. I go over the interior leather with some kind of leather cleaner almost everyday. She needs about 1.5k worth of work done to her in the next few months. She has some scuffs, and bruises, but they were there when I got her. In all honesty now that I think about it. I would just rather have about 6k to get the work needed. Then spend about 1k on a new p...

In the last 6 months I've been going to Mid Town, more and more. I go there to hang out with guys that I've met online, or know because someone knows them. Generally we have a lot in common, but none of them are my dating material. As I've hung around the Gay Crowd more, I have come to accept a lot of it, and actually enjoy. Drag Queens though still kinda weird me out a little, mainly because I can't tell if it's an ugly woman, or a man. I tend to like most of the gays I meet, accept the clubbin whores who adore Barbie Girl. They still tick me off they are just annoying as frack. I was in Mid Town today at Out Write with some friends. This really hot guy in his early 30's approaches us. He starts rambling to one of the guys with me Tim, who is well built 6 pack, about 6'2, and dark, looks like a model. He tells him he works at some gay bar or club here in Atlanta, and that he just thought Tim had the looks to work at his establishment. He gives him his card,...

I'm sorry Naked , but I'm stealing this from you. I love it, and yet it's so true... Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time- also works for store check-out lines.) Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Okay so tonight I went into town. I saw this herb shop, that I hadn't noticed before, and so I went in to see if they had anything to help with my really painful feet. I got coco butter for my feet hoping it will help sooth the inflammation when I rub it in. But the women behind the counter, wanted to do a physical test. She looked at my eyes, and told me I need liver detox, and this and that and the other. Well I ended up purchasing a Taio He Cleanse kit. For my intestines, circulatory system, and liver. Colon detox basicly, and I have been doing research into this. I have been meaning to get this for a while anyway, but yeah I took the first packet of stuff tonight. 29 more to go. I'll let you know how things go. Althought it suggests excercise while doing this program, and I just can't run nor walk. My feet were killing me today after walking one mile, I had to stop. I really am worried about my feet, for I have cheer competition this weekend, and a 10k race next.

Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, abd breakup with Greg. I had been eating my heart out. At first I thought I had gained 13 pounds, but for one week I had a strict 1800 calories a day diet, flushed my system of excess fluid, and solid waste, and this morning I weighed myself. The actual weight gain is about 5 pounds not to bad, but I am resuming my running today. I want to start easy 1 mile walking, and one mile jogging the next 2 days and we will see where I go from there.

I swear the only thing 6th, 7th, and 8th grade girls use Myspace for, is to see if they can out slut each other. They all have skimpy little pictures of them in their underwear, or doing some weird pose with a phone, or something along those lines. Where are these kids parents? In my Myspace I have like 5 pictures none of them slutty, or sexually obscene just me with friends. But apparently that had become the norm for middle school girls to see who they can out slut.

Your Ipod tells alot about your personality, especially your music. I want to know what your Top 15 listened to songs are... I tag Naked , Susan , Ryan , Elmo , and SwordsPoint Your job tag 5 others My Top 15 are as followed... 15. Norah Jones- Carnival Town 14. Diana Krall- Temptation 13. SugarCult- Memory 12.Natasha Bedingfield- Wild Horses 11. Relient K- Who I Am Hates Who I've Been 10. Anna Nalick- Citadel 9. Anna Nalick- Forever In Love(Digame) 8.Diana Krall- Narrow Daylight 7.Diana Krall- The Girl In The Other Room 6.Norah Jones- Come Away With Me 5. Norah Jones- Don't Know Why 4.Natasha Bedingfield- Unwritten 3.Jamie Cullum- All At Sea 2. Anna Nalick- Wreck Of The Day 1. Anna Nalick- Breathe (2AM)

Just got back from Atlanta, went to Mid Town to hang out with some friends. I wanted some coffee so I we went into Out Write. I thought nothing of looking for Greg's car... Who is the first person my eyes fall upon? Greg, sitting there in the corner at a table with Blake. and two other guys I have never met before. I see the little sly asshole, Blake, points to me and whispers something. Greg turned around so fast, and his face was so red... Somehow my Punch Asshole reaction was kept under control, and I ordered my coffee. We went to sit down as far away as possible from them. My head just kept turning around looking at him, and to see Blake keep touching him, just made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to just toss my scorching coffee onto his face, and scar both of them for life. They left in a hurry, but before they left Greg came up to me. He started to say something, and I didn't even look at him. I did manage to mutter, " Leave now, before I kick your scrawny white a...

I have many fun, and cool gadgets in my arsenal of gagdets. From my Ipod, digi camera, cell phone, GameBoy, to this little mini spy listener, to listen to people from accross the room when their whispering( this is alot of fun, because we have found out lots of juicy gossip this way, to Spooftel.com( fun with caller ID). However out of all of them I have to say my favorite one of them all, is my TV B Gone. I have had it for about a year, and it is so much fun to use. What it does, is it's a mini TV univeral remote. It fits on my keychain and looks like a garage door opener in a way. It's so much fun to sit in a sports bar when " The Game" is on, and just turn the TV off at a highlight. They get so pissed, especially when it's that time of the year for the Super Bowl:) I love this little device, even more then my Ipod.

Tagged By Naked This is my family's fridge. I don't eat most of the junk in there, except I have my own little shelf which is the health food, and organic section for me and my Mom.I haven't been grocery shopping yet this week, and yes I do buy the groceries. This is my shelf, notice the health food, fruits, veggies, and soy milk.

I am very naive when it comes to this subject, having basicly no expierience in the GLB community. But there is just something about most lesbians I don't like, and I have one hell of a hard time trying to get along with them. I am not sure what it is, but I think a major part of it is the major butchness. Most of the ones I have been around are incredibly overweight, they have that short spikey hair, and just look like morbidly obese GI Joe Commandos. While there are some pretty Lesbians out there the ones I have encountered in my life so far, just try to be a little bit to manly. I can't stand the deep voices, and the hairy legs, and the thought of them having sex is even more disturbing to me. Plus there is nothing more that scares me then a drunk large Commando Lesbian who's pissed. I've seen a few of these and they scare the shit out of me. Naked Boy a long time ago had a story about him encoutering a drunk lesbian driving a truck he almost got into a fight with, a...

It's 6 AM, and I just got home. The drive back was 7 hours long, and I am so tired. I'm gonna get some shuteye, before I have to be at work in a few hours...

So, one of the things I wanted to get done while in NC, because I knew my Dad would cover the doctors visit, was I wanted to get my feet checked out. I have been having this terrible pain in my feet when I jog, it usually starts around the end of mile 1. By the time I get to mile 2 and 3 I am walking about half the time. This is incredibly painful, it feels like constant cramps in your feet. So I just got back from the Doctor, and he told me I have Plantar Faciitis. Which for you non-runners is an inflammed plantar fascia, which is on the bottom of your foot. When it is inflammed it causes incredible pain when in use. Mine is in the early stages, and he told me 3 days no jogging, walking, ice on ice off, take aleve twice a day, and maggasage the area throughout the day, then after three days I can start walking 2 miles a day. However he told me I can't do the 10k in 2 weeks, but I can do the 5k.

Okay I am having one hell of a time sleeping tonight. I can't get to sleep for some damn reason... But yeah, I am going to be adding several links to my blogroll tomarrow, and photoshop was being a bitch tonight and I didn't feel like figuring out how to add a border to my new banner...

So tomarrow Thursday is my last day here... I have a competition this Sunday, and a required practice on Saturday. I am gonna be leaving late tomarrow night, for about a 6-7 hour drive back to Atlanta. I needed to come home, get my scattered thoughts back together. I have however had alot of time to think, mainly about what Greg did. I am still hurt, and miss him dearly, but I could never forgive him. I've finally stopped sulking a few days ago, and I am ready to pick up the pieces, and just carry on with my life... Cheers, T

As I write this I am here on Franklin Street at UNC, Chapel Hill. Just watching people do their stuff, watching my older asshole of a half brother socialize. For some reason I came and I am not sure why, but I am enjoying myself... I'm bored I found this in Runner Susan's blog, so I'm gonna post do it.... Four jobs I've had: 1. Game Room Attendant 2. Bus Boy- Applebee's, PF Changs, and Friday's 3. Gymnastics Coach 4. Skating Ring DJ Four movies I could watch over and over: 1. What Dreams May Come 2. Star Trek Nemesis 3. Battlestar Galactica Mini-Series 4. Jurassic PArk Four TV shows I love to watch: 1. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA 2.Suze Orman 3. Mad Money 4.Squawk Box Four websites I visit daily: 1. Naked Boy Chronicles 2. Myspace 3. Hotmail 4. Ebay Four of my favorite foods: 1. Grilled Chicken Ceasar Salads 2. Salmon 3. Chocolate 4. Soy Milk Four places I've been on vacation: 1. Peru 2. Cayman Islands 3. Brazil 4. Chile Four places I'd rather be: 1. Cheerlead...

Just wanted a quick post. I am in NC for a week or so gettiny my mind together. I'm not going anywhere, I just really need a break from things back home and to organize my thoughts about things. The blogs staying, I'm staying, and it will be updated towards the end of the week. I've had a fun filled day, and I need sleep. Thats all for now, T

Tragedy's going away for a while, how long I will be gone I do not know. Might be forever, but who knows? During this break I'm going back home to NC, for a while. This incident with Greg, has caused my fire to burn. I need water to put it out, before it becomes a raging fire. How long I will be gone I do not know. I might be a few short days, weeks, or months, or perhaps just never(don't worry Naked I'll send you my xanga if I decide this). I've given lots of thought about this Blog. I'm not sure if the title fits, even though I thought it once did. I just might recreate, but who really knows? I'm leaving everything behind me, and I'm going to make 2006 a killer year. A reason I love Natasha Beddingfield's new song, " Unwritten." Enough said this is my anthem for 2006, Anna had her way in 2005 with " Breathe(2AM)." So I leave you with this... "Unwritten" Music Video Taken Out, for reasons of major annoyance or however ...

I'm taking a break from the blogging, and the internet. I have 3 blogs(this is only one updated daily), and a myspace, email, aim, and I just drives insane even though I love it. I'm taking a break how long I will be gone I do not know...

I went to cheer practice tonight, and what do I see out by the garbage can? The worlds cutest kitten, I think someone just dropped her there. She's mine now since my other one ran away. I'm naming her Mini. So far the fat blob named Gizmo, my other cat, hates her and just sits under the bed hissing. While my Cocker Coco, just lays there and lets her climb all over her. It's so cute.

The last month I have been pigging out on food, especially the last 5 days with Greg and I. I have eaten several things of half gallon ice cream, oreos, cookies, cereal, pizza anything I can get my hands on. I just made me feel better. I know I have gained some weight since Thanksgiving, but I have no clue I had gained 13 pounds. I saw one of my friends today, and they made a comment. I realized I hadn't weighed myself in forever. I am 158 pounds, the heaviest I have ever. Been I am hoping some of this is water weight, and I will go on a detox diet for a few days. Hopefuly at least a few pounds is water, and the rest once I return to my normal diet, and I will increase my running routine by 1.5 miles a day. In about a month hopefully it will be back down to normal, I can't see my pathetic excuse for abbs anymore. Greg deserves to burn in hell, and I hope he does.

One of the things I have given a lot of thought in my life is this. Once I graduate high school next year, just pack of my car with my most precious things, and clothes and just drive somewhere to some city, and settle there. Create a life there, and build there. I can achieve my goals anywhere, and the longer I stay in Atlanta the more I realize how fed up with things I am. I am content with where I am in life, but with all honesty I don't really know where I wanna go. I know I love business, and it's my passion, but I also just for a while wanna be somebody with no responsibility. I want to be someone who just works as a bartender, goes to college, and pays rent on an apartment. I don't want the responsibility of staying here in GA, tending to my brothers, being a house keeper, mowing the lawn, fixing dinner everynight, working, and going to college near home not being able to be who I am. The restraints of this lifestlye just don't appeal to me. To truly suceed in w...

I am one of those people who loves my music. My favorite artists are Norah Jones, Diana Krall, Jamie Cullum, James Blunt, Leela James, and Michelle Branch, however I love Anna Nalick. I am still heart broken, but I find comfort in this song. FYI, for you who thinks this sounds fimiliar she sings Breathe (2AM) which played in this blog for almost 2 months.

I have called it off with Greg. After 2 days of silence, binge eating, wallowing in my own self pity, and searching for answers. I came to my decision this afternoon with a little help from Sean. I drove up to Conyers this afternoon, to see him and his boyfriend. They have been together 8 years, through thick and thin, and have had their fair share of drama. We went out to lunch at Olive Garden, and he explained to me what I should do. Butt Boy it comes to find out has done this more then once in past relationships. This information comes via of people online. I didn't realize he's slept with every 16-18 year old gay clubbin whore in Atlanta. From the queen of the them Wes, to Colby, and far beyond. Sean and Alejandro took me by their house, which is where I am spending the night. This home in beauiful, probably about 4000 squarefeet and only the two to of them. I can't describe it in words, but ifs breathetaking. However since they are both working professionals in their l...

Greg called be Friday night and asked to meet me at some place an hour away. I drive out there and he's in this restaurant eating alone. He had this look on his face like someone died. I sat down ordered my water, and he told me to sit he had something to tell me. I did and I was concerned. He looks at me and says, " You know Blake?" I replied with a yeah, and in the lowest tone of voice he lowers his head and says, " I slept with him a few times, while we've been dating." With that I got up without saying a word,, walked to my car, and balledmy eyes out for almost 30 minutes, before speeding home. He called me, but I haven't been answering. He sent me and email where he explained he was caught up in the heat of the moment, and we drunk. He then goes that he's sorrry and this has been eating away at him all week. He sais it would never happen again, and he's sorry and wants to continue dating. I don't know what to do. I've been crying f...